I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
