My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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