how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
