You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
