i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
