Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
