This is not my ceiling
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i need some magic done to my vagina
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
