So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
