Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
