Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
