Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize