Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
