Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize