What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
