if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
