normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
