dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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