Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
