Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
