I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
