This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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