I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
