I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
