The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
