your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She told me I should be a condom model.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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