The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im holly from the hills drunk
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
