guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
