I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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