yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
