I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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