Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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