I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
