I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You can't just leave with hair like that
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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