I wish I could teleport
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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