Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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