that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
