He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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