After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I enjoy the company of your penis
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
