you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
