that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
