Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
