so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
