if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just sucked dick on a ferry
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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