If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
