also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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