ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
