my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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