he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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