Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
