Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
