But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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