You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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