dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
