dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
