yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
