i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
