Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
