You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
