So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The power of my boobs compel you
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize