I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
