You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My vagina is officially offended.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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