If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
