I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
